i really dont have nothing more than you see

deep inside, am i bleeding?

hell no, i am fucking heartless, i feel nothing when the good man dies. i cry when i dont get what i want. i just feel sorry for myself, i just wish better for myself.

i am a good person, i dont want, think bad things for others, i help them, entertain them. they think i can not show my goodness but it is a damn big lie. i am fucking heartless. i dont have nothing more than you see.

Sorry Universe, i never meant to hurt you, i never mean to make you cry but tonight..

Cleaning out my closet. Today i brought my car to service and mechanical man warned me about, that if i hit my car from 2-3cm to right, i would have to pay 20times more.

We had not made any speech with him, but i understood that again most speeches are meaningless! Just live it, have fun! Don't care too much, cause i have too little time to feel happy! Doing so much things, don't let anyone, anything to interrupt all these!

UNIVERSE! Please Unlock my Luck~

This week was disaster. Thanks god, i am in one piece, not in a too bad condition, but was the most unlucky among others, in these days!

At work, i should do the most easiest thing in the world maybe, just write a bootable .iso to the CD but, it is not booting, and don't really now, where the problem is. It shouldn't be me!

And i hit my car's bottom and broke a piece there! Every time it shakes i heard metals hitting voice and it is disturbing me too much!

Today i wanted to meet my friends. Cause i don't feel so happy i wanted to sth outside but, the weather sucks! They are saying coldest October ever. They are saying we can see tournedos(sh.t!). And don't go outside!

Anyway, i am thinking like all these bad accidents will end by this week, wish to see you next week with great news!

never there

we couldn't even make that stupid speech! hate uncertainty every time.  I can't be cool' i can only be heartless!

uncertainty

Probably we will make a stupid speech. With all these stomachache i am waiting for this unreasonable thing just to understand what the fuck it was!

F.ck u, f.ck u very very much

Today when arrived my Engineering Mathematics class, i faced with an undesirable situation. Our instructor postponed the class starting time to 10:30. Which directly means we would finish at 1:30, where my leave request interval expires and still need to drive at least 30minutes to work to start working!

Thanks God, some students have another classes conflicting so that vain man had to change it back to 9:30 again.

I have to work hard this semester. I need to get very high points form my courses to able to find scholarship for my doctoral degree in far east of course :)

Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress

After returning back from China, i realized that i wonder many things about there and want to go back! Want to go back there, no matter or what! 

I started Chinese courses. I started to make plans, i started to collect money, in a black piggy :), which my sister's Greek boyfriend sent from Greece :).

I miss Melike, Kirsten, Olav, Robert, Hiro, Utsav, Shami, Melody and all the other guys and girls a lot. When i achieve to go there, maybe i wont find them, but these people are all the ones, that i will do more to meet them again!

The book is going perfect. I need to investigate more about China!